Overheard on campus
-“She’s been a good girl.” “Not in those shorts.”
-“I just made a Fresher eat our orange. I told him it had vodka in it.”
-“There’ s something in my pants.” Mike (fresher) during comedy hypnotist
-“John, I think I love you!” “…My name is Pete…”
-In the toilet cubicle “Get your school uniform and get your ass down here.” “Give me a sec…” “Get the fuck down here!”
-“Do you know how she wakes me up in the mornings? With fart noises!”
-“She’s hot.” “I know, my eyes are over ther having sex with her.”
-“These are friends you will make for life!” “Do we have to?”
-“Ali’s has a teet”
-“It’s bigger than the one I have now”
-“If I get you that room will you sort me out?”
-“It’s so depressing to have depression”
-“He’s so far in the closet, he’s talking to fauns and lions”
-“I am going to push you off the top of my basement.”
-“He snogged me for 30 minutes , then whacked it in me”
-“Hey, do you fancy a boy?”
-“I hid under your porch because I love you”
-“I heres a fire. LOLZ”
-In the foyer: “So, is this the Union?”
-“I’m not gay, I am just hungry!”
-“That hurt my radio”
-“I want to be a man for a week to see what sex is like. They seem to put in a lot of effort.”
-“I’m hardcore, I take it in the eye!”
-“Oh, we have cocktail sausages when we get home!” “what? Alcoholic sausages?”
- “Rape, Rape, Rape, Rape, Rape, Rape,….” “How many rapes should I put you down for?”
-“If someone is dressed as a banana, you’ve got to have a gorilla beat it”
-“Saturday night will be the night after the morning before”
-“Where are my pants!?”
-“High Towers is 10.5 Connor hands tall!”
-“I only wanted a wee one!”
-“Why is this puddle wet?”
-“Wouldn’t it be weird if we had two legs?”
-“I wish I could orgasm for 30 minutes”
-“You’re really tall, it must be difficult to 69”
-“The game is a itchy foot”
-“Stop throwing your balls around”
-“I just ignore him, honest, he’s a Geordie’s”
-“Got all my boys to make me warm tonight”
-“TRUMP” “lamp you!”
- “I will be wearing breasts and breasts.”
-“I can’t go out with you, I am a secret lesbian.” “Well I’m a secret woman!”
-“It’s not the first time I’ve been under Bottom”
-“I love pushing people’s legs apart. Turns me on!”
